A quick search on google will define the word "woe" as things that cause sorrow or distress. Being single for far too many years to count, I'd have to say that I'm pretty much an expert on the things that can cause distress in the life of a single person. Here are a few of my woes.
Woe #1: Attempts to hook me up with ANY person solely based on the fact we're both single
If you've been single for some amount of time you've probably been there before. You're in the company of friends or family and a few new faces are present as well. Over the course of the conversation it is discovered that one of those new faces is single. Your friends/family members eyes light up. They look at you and inevitably you get, "Brandi, you should talk to such and such". Now why exactly should I talk to this person? Do you know their interests? Do you know their character? Do you know if I'm their type, or if they are mine? Or is it that I should talk to them simply based on the fact that we're both single, and you think that I should give every single person that crosses my path a chance?
Woe #2: Attempts to hook me up with someone I know only because they're single
This one is closely related to woe #1. Not everyone that I know knows each other. I love to entertain and have get togethers so when I do it's likely that new acquaintances will be made. When people meet your other friends the light bulbs once again go off. Once again I hear, "Brandi, why don't you talk to such and such? Y'all are already friends with each other". Having a friend, that is also single, does not automatically equate the two should just get together. Perhaps the thought has crossed our minds, but we just aren't in a place in life to make a relationship work. Perhaps since we are friends, I already know some habits that just won't allow a relationship to work. Maybe one of us is interested and the other isn't. Whatever the case may be, if we're already friends and it's meant to be it'll happen. If not, then it won't.
Woe #3: Married friends complaining about their marriage in an attempt to make you feel better about your singleness
99.5% of my married friends fall into this category. The moment I, or any other single person, tries to vent a frustration with the single life they quickly express how lucky we are to be single. We're so lucky because we can spend our time as we want, we don't have to answer to or consider anyone else's feelings, blah, blah, blah. You know how it goes. Well let's compare this to unemployment. Not because the two are equal, but simply because it makes for an easy illustration. Let's say I'm the unemployed friend. I've been unemployed for over 10 years. You have a great job, but you don't want to make me feel bad about my unemployed state so you tell me how lucky I am to not have to answer to a boss, I don't have to wake up early, I don't have to deal with customers, coworkers, etc. Well the fact still remains that you have a job that you chose, you reap benefits from that job, and something is keeping you there. I have advantages of time and freedom, but I'm broke and bitter because I'm on public assistance and can't get past the interview phase. Yes, there are pros to the single life BUT being single is NOT easy by any means. Yes, you were once single, but you weren't me. You didn't walk in my shoes, and you don't know my struggle. Being in a relationship isn't easy, but you're in it for a reason, you reap benefits from that relationship that I don't have the luxury of, and if it's all that bad then just get a divorce and put that person back on the market for someone who won't complain about them.
Woe #4: Don't worry they're on the way
I'm going to keep this one short. I've been single for a very long time. My last "real" (and I use that term loosely) relationship was in college. I'm 32 years old. I graduated when I was 22 and I was out of that relationship by then. I've been hearing that this man is on the way for a LONG time. Unless God has given you a divine revelation that this man is around the corner and coming this week, I could do without hearing this anymore. It's not comforting, but I appreciate it.
Woe #5: Don't worry you have time my 90 year old aunt just got married
Oh yes, it is so comforting to know that you know someone much older than me who finally found someone to be with (can you see my eyes rolling as you read this part lol). I mean that's just what I wanted to hear. In another 60 years if I just keep on living I might finally meet someone. If you know someone who found love later in life that is awesome! Just don't try to comfort your single friends with that.
Woe #6: Have you tried *insert random dating app/site*
The way society is moving, most people are connecting virtually these days. It is quite common to discover that a new couple has met via a dating app, dating site, or someone shooting their shot in the DMs. I'm totally not opposed to any of these things. I've tried them before. So before you ask, yes I've tried *insert random dating app/site* and no it didn't work out for me.
Woe #7: Do you ever go out and do anything?
For some reason I guess being single is associated with staying in the house and hiding under a rock. Well, not all of us are in hiding. I actually get out quite often to different events around town, get togethers and travel. I meet lots of new people on a regular basis. Getting out, and being seen doesn't equate to meeting someone to be with.
These are just a few of my woes. It is after the holidays, so you know I was hit with this by a few family members and friends. What do you think? Anything you would add? I want to hear from you. Comment below or e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org